I cannot believe this is happening to me!!!!!! Just three minutes after I posted my last publication last night I found out that this very person I`m talking about has had an affairs with other girls and the most important is that he has the INTENTION to sleep with one of them on the very next competition we have. And all this information posted, published, and revelated in the orienteering forum that we have.

I`ve never been that demeaned, that angry and that ....... I have no idea how could this be called! Absolute, pure idiot!Don`t know how to comment it. This is like a movie, a novel or... feel like someone will suddenly appear and say: " Hey, don`t worry, it`s over! That was one big joke, ok!"

I know this is not going to happen.

The biggest concern that I have is that probably I will have to quit the orienteering. First of all I`m not sure if I can go to competitions with Kalina, because we don`t have a car and sometimes competitions are too far from any public transport. Everyone else has car or depends on someone who has and that was the situation with me and Kalin. He used to drive us both everywhere. I don`t think there is someone who has two free seats for us.

The second reason is the humiliation. It`s just too big to bare it.

The third reason is that I don`t want to disturb him. He has a behaviour to fallow, to sleep with every cute and horny little bitch he meets, so I don`t want to remind him about our stupid relationship. About the horrible me and the love that I feel.

I will let you know how my life goes on. Now I need a rest.
Hope I am not going to loose my sport! I lied him that I`m interested only by him, but not the sport. I just wanted to impress him. Orienteering is good for me and I love it. One of the very few joys in my life and Kalina`s too.

Anyway I won`t delete the previous publocation! I want everyone to know how much I have been in love with him. And still I am.